What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
