nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
