is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
