I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
soo... how was my night?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
