she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
