called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
