Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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