he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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