I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Sorry my hands just texted you
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
