I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
