just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
