Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I have aggressive nipples.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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