we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
