Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
