"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
