Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Randomize
