I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
