life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize