Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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