you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
