In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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