Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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