I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
