my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
