cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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