were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
