What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
