called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
