I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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