I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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