how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize