I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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