kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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