Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
