Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
