sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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