I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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