Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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