Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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