How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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