I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize