Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
