Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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