My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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