Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
