so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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