I wish I could punch you in the face.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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