I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
