I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
