I'm jealous of your bromance
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
only you would photoshop your dick
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
