This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
