If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize