im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
