they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
