you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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