I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
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