I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I think my moral compass just broke
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