so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
So much Jack, so little girl.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
