Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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