I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
