After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You know, be my cock's hype man.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
