Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
